“Nuns fret not at their convent’s narrow rooms….”–William Wordsworth
I wanted to think for a bit about Mt. Calvary, the Anglican monastery on the top of a mountain in Santa Barbara. Someone also asked me to write about it. It’s here: http://www.mount-calvary.org/. Because it burned to the ground very recently, I will have to write about it in past tense.
My sister first invited me to go visit Mount Calvary. We were both attending St. Michael’s Episcopal church and someone there told her about a peaceful place to go for a silent retreat. We ended up going together for silent retreats often after that.
One didn’t get to there easily. The other-worldly retreat center was located up Mountain Drive. If you started your journey at the Santa Barbara Mission, and meandered cautiously up some narrow two-lane roads with sheer drop-offs, you would eventually get there. Amy, my twin sister, and I nearly always walked because we had no car. Arriving hot and sweaty, we did a working retreat.
Upon arrival, you enter the pale blue, unlocked double doors and found your way to the check in area, relieved to be in a place so unusual that there is a rule against talking at certain times. We usually went straight to our little room and slept in a half-awake sleep, but so weary of the world that it’s like entering some kind of void where nothing matters but closing one’s eyes and resting. The purpose of the silence after meals until morning, or, all the time if one so chooses is to intentionally relieve the stress that small talk and forced conversation sometimes imposes. When we awoke we drifted into the kitchen for meals or into the chapel for the rituals of the Order of the Holy Cross. stand-sit-kneel, etc.
The monks gave cheery sermons, quoted Emily Dickinson, read, socialized at meals, rolled out the t.v. to watch Rosanne occasionally, and worked. One of the monks, Brother Roy, made calligraphy cards. My favorite was one that said “Joy is the human spirit fully alive”.
In the small room that allowed us rest from life, and the well-stocked libraries, my sister and I had a respite. Making our way home afterwards, we hoped to keep Mt. Calvary in our hearts and minds until our next visit.
Sanvean (I am your shadow) – Lisa Gerrard
